


Captain America's Anxiety Medication

by lilnaugrim



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, M/M, Medication, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rutting, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 23:17:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3914341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilnaugrim/pseuds/lilnaugrim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve finds his PTSD too life-dominating after waking up and after the New York battle; Tony recognizes the signs and helps him out. Steve finally finds one medication that works for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain America's Anxiety Medication

                It was hard for most people to see it, but deep down underneath it all, Captain America wasn't as strong as the world thought he was. Even he didn't know the power of PTSD or his own memories that haunted him. Sure he knew there were times he couldn't sleep and stayed up for hours on end, but there was still something yet to come.

                The first time it happened, the Avengers were at a Holiday party, one of the more extravagant ones hosted by Tony no less. It was all for the media, but nobody noticed when Captain America stepped from the party, breathing heavy. Well he thought nobody noticed.

  "Hey Cap, you alright there?" Tony came outside, Cap was leaning against the wall in what he hoped was a nonchalant position. He didn't want the world to know just yet how much weaker Captain America actually was now.

  "Yeah, yeah I'm fine," he tried to force himself to breathe. He could feel the pressure in his head building up and he was sure he was red all over, but it wasn't a blush.

  "You're not lookin' so—whoa there," Tony commented just as Steve's legs started to give under him and Tony actually caught him.

  "I'm okay, I'm okay," Steve repeated as Tony looked over him warily, letting go when he felt Steve regain his strength. Tony watched for a little while longer, recognizing the signs but not saying anything about it as he let Steve rest against the wall.

  "So how are you enjoying the party?" Tony asked when he'd fully let go of Steve and backed away again, out of his personal bubble.

  "I like the party just fine," Steve made it a point to look across the street at a street sign. Tony didn't quite know what to say for once so he just nodded as he looked out towards the still bustling street. When he knew Steve had calmed down enough, he let him be, not saying a word as he went back inside to rejoin the party.

                Steve stayed out a little while longer, trying to fill his lungs with as much cold air as this December night would allow. Thoughts of water had splashed into his mind, he thought, that was what triggered it. He mustered up the nerve and stepped back inside again, feeling refreshed. He smiled at people he didn't know and nodded to his head slightly when Tony looked over at him from across the room, a smile playing about his lips.

                The second time it happened it was right after a successful mission before their debriefing. Tony saw the look on Steve's face when they passed by the lakes and made sure to tell him he could step outside for a bit. Steve almost refused but one last look and he had to follow the suggestion without complaint.

                Steve stayed outside no longer than he felt comfortable doing. He pulled off his cowl and looked out at the cars bustling buy, half of them unaware of what had just even happened on the outskirts of New York City. He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes for a moment. Flashing back, he was sitting in the cockpit of the alien plane, hearing all the beeping noises telling him he was going down. Eyes open, breathing in deep, he tried to suppress those memories as he looked back inside, Iron Man was waiting for him but talking nonchalantly with a brunette behind the desk. Steve scoffed to himself and went back inside, his team needed him.

  "Come on Captain Spandex, don't want Fury to go all fury on your ass—although I—"

  "Tony, shut up," Steve warned him, both were in a playful manner though as the pair walked through the halls. A silent bond creeping up on them, both knowing the other was watching out for them. Tony talked more though, he talked constantly but Steve was ready to listen. It was a distraction that presented itself in the time of his need and he was silently grateful for that.

                The third time it happened he was on the Heli-carrier, except Tony wasn't around. He could feel his heart skipping beats as he looked out at the vast ocean below them, the height wasn't what scared him, it was the fear of everything failing and he wouldn't be able to fix it.

  "—Cap, were you listening to me?" Director Fury put a hand on his broad shoulder, pulling Steve back into the real world.

  "Oh, I'm sorry Director…I was just—I mean—"

  "Don't worry about it soldier, now about that proposal," Fury led him back towards the table but Steve couldn't help the sinking feel he felt in his heart. He needed to be grounded again, he could feel his heart rate elevate and his breathing quicken.

  "Captain?" someone asked, he quickly snapped his head to look at them, his vision got a little fuzzy around the edges and that's when he knew he wasn't alright.

  "Excuse me Director," he was able to get out before he ran down to the temporary room they had set up for him. He quickly splashed some cool water onto his face and leaned over the sink with his eyes closed. He thought about what Tony would say to him right now, trying to get in that little bit of distraction. He could feel his breathing start to slow down as he thought of those luscious blue eyes, his hair that sometimes fell into his eyes when he let it grow out enough. That wild look he got when he was formulating ideas and drawing up sketch plans for the new and improved armor.

                That was enough, Steve looked back in the small mirror at his new form, in some ways he was still getting used to it, to wake up and see a new face. He let out a small breath as he reached towards a spare towel to dry off his face and breathe in the clean linen smell, the smell his bed had when he slept at the Avenger's Tower that Tony so graciously let them have. He stopped his thoughts there though; he felt a certain uncomfortable feeling in his pants that surely would not be hidden if he thought any more thoughts about Tony. He grumbled to himself as he tried to think of unpleasant thoughts and finally was able to calm his body down completely.

                Finally it was over, or so Steve thought until it was movie night. The gang was happily watching the Avatar movie with the blue people, Steve was absolutely enthralled with the CGI and Tony happily went explaining everything and how CGI worked and then onto what was not possible about that movie. That was where Steve put a finger to Tony's mouth to shush him angrily; he was trying to watch the movie after all. It was great, Tony was cuddling into him, meaning he'd taken over Steve's left arm and was holding onto him. It was going so well and he felt so warm and fuzzy, something he'd never felt before as Tony kept nudging himself more onto Steve, complaining he'd seen this movie a thousand times before.

  "Sorry to interrupt sir, but you have only watched this particular film twice," Jarvis interrupted with his usually snarky British self.

  "Oh shut up Jarvis, twice is enough to count for a thousand," Tony replied grumpily to which all of them laughed.

                Yep, it was going great, right up until the humans started to fly into the Vortex and into the Impossible Mountains to fight Jake Sully and the Navi. When planes started to go down, that's when it happened. Breathing elevated as he watched the scene, blink and he was back in the plane again, crashing. Blink and another plane went down, heart beat increasing.

  "Hey Steve, you alright?" Tony asked quietly as to not draw attention. Steve, however, pushed himself right off the couch and slipped out of Tony's grip, heading up the stairs he paused half way up to lean against the rail and the wall. He coughed; feeling like his throat was closing up as he ran up the rest of the way.

  "Steve—" Tony got out as he ran up the stairs just in time to catch his falling friend. Steve collapsed to his knees; Tony caught him to cushion him in time. Tony quickly caught Steve's head in his hand to force Steve to look at him. "Come on Steve, it's alright, you're home, you're home," Tony repeated as he tried to get Steve back to reality. He was successful and Steve leaned forward in response to lean his sweaty forehead against Tony's forearm, slowing his breathing down. Tony was talking, distracting him and it was working.

  "Hey, hey, you alright Steve? You'd better not vomit on me, that's so unsexy…" Tony murmured as he rubbed Steve's back and his other hand was at the little hairs on his neck, playing with them.

  "I'm fine, I'm alright," Steve nearly panted. He could feel now Tony was kneeling, nearly straddling himself over Steve's knee, he could also feel Tony clearly through his sweatpants.

  "No, no you're not alright Steve. You've been suffering from these PTSD attacks since you woke up," Tony groaned himself as he leaned forward to clunk his head against Steve's shoulder. He waited for Steve to reply, he waited for the breathing to return to normal.

  "Talk…please, it helps," Steve murmured, he could feel Tony's body jerk at that.

  "I'm afraid that if I keep talking I'm going to start spewing how gorgeous you are right now, how you always are. God…you'd be so good for me, wouldn't you?" Tony grumbled, he closed his eyes knowing that Steve would probably run away in homophobic fear. But that didn't happen, instead Steve spoke again.

  "It distracts me…helps me…focus, you're talking, it helps. It was getting worse, more things just to remember but your talking helps," Steve picked his head up and Tony did the same in return, his hand still playing with the little hairs.

  "I'll give you something that'll distract you," Tony murmured as he leaned forward to press his lips to Steve's in what was supposed to be a chaste kiss but Steve hungrily wrapped his arms around Tony, pulling him closer and responding in the kiss. Tony suddenly found a very pliant Steve in his arms and so he greedily forced Steve's mouth open to explore the yet to be charted territory.

  "Steve, Steve wait…are you sure?" Tony had to pull away, not wanting to frighten his super soldier. He could see that Steve was fully ready, eyes blown wide and lips already getting red.

  "Yes, yes Tony, I am so very sure," he smiled and Tony had to mirror the grin. Soon turned to kiss as the couple leaned into each other, Tony moved further towards Steve so the each of them had a leg to grind against. Tony immediately rubbed his clothed dick against Steve's thigh, earning him a very small moan and he was talking again.

  "You'd be so good for me Steve, wouldn't you? Oh fuck…look at you, not even to touching and you're already so ready, so pliant…were you waiting for this Steve?" Tony grabbed Steve's lower lip between his teeth to bite and pull away, letting the lip slide from its captors and Steve was completely dazed by that. Tony could feel the answering erection and he couldn't wait to get into a room, hell, he'd do it right here if he could. "Five feet that way and—hmpf!" Tony was cut off when Steve leaned to kiss him again.

  "Anxious are we?" Tony grinned when his lips were released, he found that his hips were working of their own accord and he was shamelessly rutting against Steve's muscled thigh.

  "Tony…"

  "Yes my dear?"

  "Shut up," Steve made it clear he didn't want to chat any more when he decided to pick both of them up, Tony nearly shrieking in protest until he was placed back on his feet.

  "Come on hot stuff, my room's got all the goodies," he instantly grabbed Steve's hand to pull him along. He could feel the heat resonating out of Steve's body, whether it was blush or lust, he couldn't quite make it but figured it was a bit of each. Up the stairs towards his room but he couldn't keep his lips off Steve for so long. Next step Steve found himself pinned to the wall.

                Steve's mind was racing as Tony kissed him fervently and he tried to respond as quickly as he could. He audibly gasped when Tony started to rub his clothed dick over Steve's own.

  "Like that huh? Wait till you feel it without clothes on," Tony murmured before delving into Steve's mouth again, both hands found their way down to Steve's ass to firmly grasp each cheek. Steve quickly jerked his hips upward at the unexpected squeeze and Tony laughed. Grabbing his hand again, Tony pulled him finally into the billionaire's elaborate bedroom.

                The door was closed and Tony pinned him yet again but Steve was looking over at the bed; excited, nervous and anxious all in one. Tony's lips and hands kept him down to Earth or rather into a blissful euphoria. Kissing Tony was like throwing his shield, it just felt so good to do and it felt right.

                Tony started to walk them backwards as his tongue flipped at Steve's, another gasp at that. Steve guided Tony around the chest at the foot of his bed and then to the side where Tony flipped them around quickly to push Steve down onto the mattress. Steve laid there for a moment, a sudden sound made him flash back to the plane again.

  "Hey, hey, hey, don't do that. Hey! If you want to go through with this, you'd better stay with me soldier, you hear?!" Tony barked at him and Steve was torn from the image.

  "Sir…yes sir," Steve choked out and suddenly gasped when Tony started on his buckle, a moment of uncertainty but Tony kept going.

  "Good boy," Tony murmured against Steve's bare stomach after he pulled the shirt from its confines and kissed Steve's stomach. He could feel Steve twist and twitch at that and he smiled, looking up to his now partner who was looking up at the ceiling. Tony quickly pulled himself up so that he was able to look into Steve's eyes to make sure he was still with him.

  "Hey…eyes on me sweet cheeks," Tony gently kissed him. Steve obliged at the soft kiss and obediently moved towards the headboard upon request.

  "Won't be needing this anymore," Tony tore Steve's shirt open, buttons popping out everywhere.

  "Tony!" Steve chided but sat up and let Tony slip the shirt off and went back to the buckle. Steve had no idea what to do with his hands, should they have been just lying on the bed or should they be on Tony? He let Tony pop his belt off first and quickly and expertly pull down both pants and boxers in one swoop. Steve suddenly felt too exposed and self-conscious so he looked back towards the ceiling.

  "You are such a master piece and beautiful, all this muscle packed into one area!" Tony started to admire him and Steve had to peek down at him, Tony was fondly looking over his body but quickly snapped his eyes up to meet Steve's. "And I'm jealous that I didn't make it," Tony pouted and Steve had to laugh out loud.

  "But…it's yours now," Steve said timidly, hoping that was the right thing to say. Tony started to grin and take his pants off.

                Steve let out his first real moan when Tony swiftly rubbed his newly freed cock against his own. A few more rubs and Steve was going to lose it, he could feel the fire coiling deep in his stomach but he couldn't get words out while Tony was doing that.

  "You ready big boy?" Tony asked, going to reach over to the side table when Steve stopped him. With the loss of contact came his brain cells.

  "Your shirt, aren't you going to take it off?" Steve questioned, holding Tony's arm in place easily. Tony quickly sat up on his knees to look down at the Captain.

  "I'd rather not—"

  "If I have to look at you, you need to take your shirt off for me to look," Steve quickly interrupted him and Tony just had to grin.

  "Sly bastard," Tony grumbled as he reached for the rim of his shirt and took it off. Steve had only heard about the arc reactor before, he'd never actually seen it so it was natural for him to want to touch it.

  "Can I—" Steve sat up to inspect it a little more closely even as he felt Tony's comfort diminishing.

  "You can touch it," Tony nodded, seemingly reluctant. So Steve took the invitation and gently circled it with a finger.

  "Oh," Steve let out the breathy word as he found that the metal was actually very warm to the touch. He figured it was going to be cold, but it made more sense now. He circled it again and marveled at the light and then splayed both hands around the edge of it on Tony's chest. He could feel Tony was breathing faster now and finally looked up at his partner to find that Tony's eyes were closed.

  "Tony?"

  "Hmm?"

  "Are you alright?"

  "Heh, it actually feels good when you do that," Tony whispered, "I always thought it was going to feel…different when someone else touched it…but it's good," he hummed and Steve grinned. He leaned forward just a bit to kiss him softly, Tony opened his eyes again and gently pushed Steve back down on the bed to deepen his kiss and rub against him once again.

  "Tony—Tony, I—I'm not going too—"

  "I know sweet cheeks, I know. I can feel it," Tony answered him; he quickly stopped his rubbing even though he was plainly enjoying it too. He wanted Steve to last a little longer than that. So instead he started to trail his hot, open mouthed kisses down his neck to suck on his collarbone for a few seconds. Nibbling here and there, he worked his way down to those glorious pectorals. Quickly, he sucked at Steve's right nipple while his fingertips swirled the other; both standing very erect, very quickly.

  "Come on baby, tell me what you like," Tony murmured but with the way Steve was starting to squirm, he figured out that he liked that nearly as much as them rubbing cocks together. Tony hummed against Steve as his tongue flicked out to play with the reddened nipple before. He almost reached his goal; to hear Steve moan again. Tongue flat against the reddened area, he switched sides and got a hitched breath from Steve. The same work to that nipple and Steve was breathing hard; Tony could feel just how close he was from how tense his muscles were.

  "Babe, you can come any time you want," Tony purred, he knew his little beard whiskers were rubbing at Steve's nipple and that overstimulation is what set him through. Tony coaxed him through the orgasm with a hand at his hip, thumb rubbing in soothing circles and little kisses to Steve's glorious pectorals. He watched Steve tip his head back as his mouth fell open with the release and then went slack as his head resumed its previous position and his eyes close as he breathed heavy through his nose. "Feel better?"

  "Yeah," Steve nodded to the question, eyes still closed though. More kisses to Steve's clavicle as Tony observed him, drinking in all the quirks and twitches of muscle beneath him.

  "You have no idea how beautiful you look right now," Tony grinned at him, pulling himself up enough to kiss his handsome lover. Steve liked this part, he had enough brain function to kiss back and get his hands on Tony's cheek and neck to cradle him and bring him closer. Tony moaned into Steve's mouth as he accidentally rubbed against Steve's now hardening dick. "Holy fuck Rogers, already?" Tony had to break away and look down at Steve's cock to make sure he wasn't just feeling things. Steve gave a bashful smile with his eyes half lidded. Tony had to shake his head and just momentarily gather himself as he then rubbed his still very hard cock against Steve's; making him produce that beautiful moan once more.

                Tony couldn't help himself any longer and just started to rut against Steve shamelessly panting and moaning against the sinful lips of his partner. He had to take a moment to look at those lips which were bitten swollen and red, so deeply red. It only persuaded Tony to kiss him more, to see him completely undone before him. It wasn't much longer until Tony was thrusting with inaccuracy, the pleasure building too much for his system to handle. One more thrust and the scales tipped as he clenched up to come on Steve, head bowing between Steve's neck and shoulder.

                Steve watched as he felt Tony seize up and stopped kissing him to lean his head between Steve's shoulder and neck. He could feel Tony's lips against his shoulder, muttering something as he came in long ropes against Steve's already come soaked belly. Seeing Tony tip over the edge and knowing that he had a good hand in it was enough to make Steve come a second time that night; completely sending him to a blissful euphoria.

  "Hey," Tony was looking at him, propped again on his elbows as he woke up from the orgasm induced white out. Steve could only smile at him, the brain cells he once possessed were now missing but he couldn't give a damn in the world to find them. He had Tony and that was all that mattered, he felt like he could face another day if he was with Tony.

  "Hey," Steve finally found his voice, albeit it was a little hoarse but he wasn't exactly sure why since he didn't recall yelling much or at all honestly.

  "Wait here," Tony rolled off after pecking his nose and scampered to the adjoined bathroom. He came back a few moments later with what looked like a wet cloth, Steve's mind flashed with some of his fantasies about licking his own come off Tony but he had to settle them for a different time. He laid there and let Tony clean him off, Tony disappeared for a little bit more but soon came back to crawl back to bed with Steve. The pair maneuvered so they shimmied under the covers and cuddled up to each other big spoon little spoon style. Tony didn't mind being the little spoon for the first time in a long time.

  "So…" Tony started, petting the arm that was wrapped around him.

  "So," Steve breathed out, planting a little kiss on the neck before him.

  "…how are you feeling?"

  "Very good…" Steve whispered to him, breathing in the scent of Tony's sweat matted hair, but it was his scent and Steve liked it. "Thank you Tony," he couldn't help but to say, Tony started to chuckle, "what?"

  "Nothing just…you're thanking me for sex," Tony turned so he was on his back, they moved a bit more so that he was essentially using one of Steve's arms as a pillow. "That's just so…"

  "What…me?" Steve grinned, kissing Tony's cheek.

  "Yeah…you," Tony just smiled and sort of looked perplexed at the situation but was happy about it.

  "Well if it weren't for you, I might not be here right now," Steve nuzzled his nose into Tony's neck who jumped at first from it tickling but rested after.

  "I'd rather not think like that, but hey, if you ever need anything to distract you, just let me know. I'll even leave my business card for you," Tony grinned which made Steve laugh and pull his head back up to admire Tony. He leaned forward to kiss Tony on the lips again only to do it again and again. They moved once more to accommodate the other so they could kiss easier. Tony's hand at the back of Steve's neck playing with the little hairs there as they kissed for what sort of felt like eternity and Tony was completely okay with it.

                It was the first night Steve slept and slept well, no nightmares ruled his dreams and in fact he didn't dream at all, at least not that he remembers. He woke in the morning with a smile on his face and Tony wrapped around him, he knew he could spend every day waking up like this he thought to himself. The movement of him brought Tony out of his slumber as well who stretched out and then curled to Steve's side like a cat before opening his eyes to stretch out once more. He yawned before looking up at Steve and smiling.

  "You look happy," Tony noted, kissing the flesh shoulder before him which was all he could reach for the time being.

  "I am, I slept very well."

  "No nightmares or waking or anxiety?" he asked as they shifted to accommodate each other as Steve shook his head and Tony just grinned. "I'd say it's an improvement," Tony leaned forward to kiss his prize knowing this was actually going to be a relationship of some sort not just a night fling. It gave him a feeling of butterflies in his stomach to think about relationships again but it was a welcomed feeling, something he hadn't felt in a long time at least.

  "I would have to agree," Steve said between a kiss as they held each other. It wasn't long before their pair was all over each other again and already into what they both knew was going to be a morning tradition of sex. Tony finally spoke again after the quickie, both breathing heavily and slightly sweating. "I think Bruce needs to know about this."

  "We don't have to tell anyone yet," Steve pouted.

  "Um, I think they probably know when I followed you last night and didn't return; besides he needs it for research and all. You look like a man that's for science," Tony joked and Steve rolled his eyes.

  "Fine, but you do the talking."

  "Fine by me."

  "Try not to embarrass me," Steve winced.

  "Wouldn't dream of it Prince Charming," Tony winked and grinned.

                Later the pair went down to find Bruce in his lab working away already. Bruce already knew about Steve's PSTD, well everyone did, but Bruce had worked with him on it before to see if he could help but no answers were reached. Of course with Steve's enhancement and the loss of medication effectiveness made it all the harder so when Bruce heard about Tony's ability to distract Steve, he was intrigued but not very surprised of the news since they all saw it coming, it was just a matter of time.

  "So Tony actually distracted you with sexual intercourse and it completely dismissed your anxiety and nightmares?" Bruce asked to confirm what he thought he was hearing from the pair.

  "Yes, that is correct. I mean I was still a little anxious but…I think it was a good anxiety," Steve trailed off, turning beat red and bowing his head in hopes to turn the attention away from him, the talk was already making him more than uncomfortable. He felt Tony's hand on his leg and felt the edge go away a little and glanced at his teammate to see the comforting smile and looked back up at Bruce.

  "Well if this is the case then I suggest you two continue if it helps you Steve, I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be a good "medication" for you to try out since no real medications will actually help," he shrugged and Steve just had to give a little smile. Doctor's orders to actually have sex with his Tony that was something he could certainly live with.


End file.
